Okay, I know I haven’t posted since early October. A lot’s been going on: school, emotional drama, stupid exes, and a new weight loss regime that I’m loving.
Anyway, this past week has been near hell. I -almost- lost Dylan to suicide. I wan’t going to commit it. He was. He called me multiple times to say, “I’m scared, I’m going to lose it. I’m going to hurt someone.” And, “I’ve cut myself…” And, “I going to end up taking my life.” I was panicked. I tried to calm him down and tell him that it was going to be okay and not to give up. He barely listened. So, it made me feel as if my tears and pleadings meant nothing. Wednesday night I was a mess. Did he care? I’ve no idea. It sounded like he didn’t. Though, he did make a point to say that he’s glad I actually care. But, he quickly returned to,”no one cares, they all care about themselves.”
And of course, lucky me, I get to deal with this all alone. Well, not quite. Thank god for Niko Birbilis; my awesome Greek friend. He texted me almost non stop throughout the ordeal to make sure I was okay and to help keep Dylan alive. Mikey helped in his own way. He knew I was hurting and scared and he said, “I’m so so so sorry, Eli :(” I mean, what else could he say? He knows that Dylan’s said things like this before so, at this point it was all he could say.
It was just hard that I didn’t have a boyfriend through this that I could turn to. However, Thursday, I texted him and he seemed better. He said that he talked to his best friend who had caused a lot of his pain and he’s healing. Thank god. And, he’s promised that I’ll get to see him in the near future. What made it for sure is the smiley. I know you can’t really see people smile but, I know his smile and I felt it through the text, even if he wasn’t physically smiling in reality, I know it was there somewhere.
And on a super happy note, for the past week, I’ve been talking to this super cute guy named Charlie who’s in Afghanistan. He’s really sweet. Though I haven’t talked to him since Thursday so, I’m a bit worried. However, since Thursday as well, I’ve been talking to a 26 year old guy named Danny. He’s so funny and I might get to see him tomorrow after Samantha (my cousin) and I go see Snow Patrol in concert courtesy of Mix 94.5! 😀 I am soo excited, it’s not even funny.
Okay, that’s a “brief” summary. So, until later!