Disappointment

I don’t get it. I really don’t. You make plans with someone, you’re dating someone and you expect certain and reasonable things. Yet, somehow, that person can’t pull through with their task. I don’t know how much more disappointment I can take from people… Honestly, at this point, Robert Strange was the last person I expected this off. He even double checked how to get to where I’ll be today last night. I just… I don’t understand it. I may have only known him a couple days now but, the disappointment of today and of days past comes flooding all at once and it makes it harder to cope. I just wish that there’d be one guy near me that I’m fond of that would never disappoint me like this. Mikey doesn’t but, he lives in Murrietta, California. It’s not exactly like he’s able to catch a flight here right now and meet me. Yet… I know Robert’s probably at the library but…where is he? Why isn’t he here like he said he would be?

Why do I have to suffer all these disappointments? It’s not good for me. It’s not good for my fragile heart, my fragile soul and my fragile self-esteem. I start to feel that I’m not worth the time or worth remembering, even if a conversation the night before says otherwise. I can’t do this… I can’t. I wish someone would keep every promise they could without fail and let me know if they can’t. Because expecting it to happen and it doesn’t is hurtful.

I don’t know what to do…

Side note: Robert unexpectedly had to leave town for the day with his dad. He’ll be back later on today. He called me a bit ago to tell me and to apologize for not being there and that we’ll hang out tomorrow. Now, even though this incident’s been cleared up, it doesn’t excused other incidents involving other people.

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