14 Signs Your Guy Friend Has A Crush On You

Of course, I wouldn’t know… The close I have to this… is a gay guy.

Thought Catalog

Easy AEasy A

1. He reacts strangely when you bring up your romantic life in front of him. Often, he’ll shut down, trying to change the subject, or make a disparaging remark about someone you’re interested in. Friends should be able to discuss their relationships with one another, but he might have more than friendly feelings towards you.

2. When you do mention to him that you’re interested in someone, he’ll find reasons – however insignificant they might be – that the person in question isn’t worthy of your time. You get the sense that the amount of energy he expends cutting down your budding relationships is not normal.

3. He will drop all other obligations to hang out with you, do you a favor, or otherwise be around you – even if you assure him it’s not necessary. Out of all his friends, he consistently prioritizes you – though you…

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My Marine.

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10 months ago, I had been falling in love with Josh. However, due to life screwing me over, he left, even after I begged and pleaded and even went so low as suggesting being friends with benefits (which happened for a short time anyway via text, fucking ass). I was so depressed I thought I would never get over him. Then in late December, I started talking to a Marine named Brandon. At first I was merely interested in his military status. In no way am I tag chaser. After talking to him for a week, I started crushing on him and one day he said “You’re basically my perfect type.” It killed me that I didn’t know what he meant exactly. I actually tried to push him away because I was so convinced that he’d never see me as more than a friend. 

Then a few days ago, the 7th of January, I finally asked him what he meant. And he said he’d like to have me as a girlfriend but he was afraid it wouldn’t be fair because he’s so far away. After telling him that as much as I dislike distances, I always told myself that I’d be willing to try if it was with the right person. And if he was willing to try… He jumped in and said, “I’m willing to work on it.” 

I’m falling for him more and more very day. And the fact that he’s loved me since day one, has just made me so happy. He’s so amazing. And sweet, and romantic. He loves me for who I am, even when I’ve had an anxiety attack. He loves me, the woman underneath the pain. Last night, he said he wants to live with me and marry me. It might be really soon, but he’s so wonderful. He’s seen the side of me that is not always happy and he still loves me. I sang for him last night and he cried. I wanted to hug and kiss him so badly. 

Hopefully I’ll be able to see him on my Spring Break. If he asks me to marry him then, i swear it would make my life. I would be the happiest girl in the world.

8 Signs You Are Good In Bed

Thought Catalog

1. You can dance.

Now before all of you start coming at me from every corner of Reddit to cut me off at the pass of my misandry, fedoras clutched in your gnarled fingers and neckbeards springing forth from your quivering underchin like a thousand resilient dandelions, hold on. I don’t mean that those who are incapable of getting past the first two rounds of So You Think You Can Dance are destined to remain shriveled virgins. We don’t all have to be the non-horrific version of Chris Brown when it comes to moving our feet along a dance floor. However, if you are the kind of person who is determined to stay glued against the wall while everyone else is having fun and being silly, I don’t know how your hips would do if naked and horizontal. I don’t have high hopes for them, though.

2. Your sexuality isn’t…

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A New Start

It’s amazing how much can change in a month. A month ago, I was wanting James back. Then we kind of became distant and someone else stepped in vying for my attention. It was the best decision of my life to let him take me out on a date because from that message on, we’ve been talking every day so by the time we went on the date, he was dying to ask me to be his girlfriend.

How can I say “no” to a guy who makes me smile and blush every day? How can I say no to complete and utter dork who thinks the world of me? I can’t. And I’m so glad I didn’t. April 8th has become the best day of my life as of yet. He calls me beautiful every day, every moment he talks to me and if he keeps it up, I’m going to believe it. 🙂 I’ve never felt so safe and so loved in my entire life. When he gently touches my faces or kiss my lips, there’s a fire that burns inside of me. A fire like none other. 

Our friends keep teasing us and say he’s going to marry me. He’s already said he wants me to put my class ring on my left hand though, he’ll get me something more suited when it’s right. For once, things feel so right. Everything is falling into place. I’ve never been happier. He’s truly the first guy I’ve been with that I can really be myself around and say whatever comes to my mind without judgement.

He thinks I’m absolutely perfect: from my voice to my skin. If he could, I know he could just stare into my eyes for eternity. He’s so sweet, so romantic underneath the dorkiness that I’ve come to adore. Every time I’m with him, my heart pounds and there are constant butterflies in my stomach and my face is constantly flushed. He finds it absolutely adorable. 🙂

Every day I fall more and more in love with him. I think he’s perfect and I feel so tranquil despite the butterflies when he holds my hand and tucks my hair behind my ear.

Just give me a chance…

I’ve tried for almost a year to stop loving you…with no success. I can’t stop loving you. I always have you on my mind, wether it be subconsciously or consciously. I can always see your face, here your voice. I can see your smile and your incomparable blue eyes. Every time I see you on cam, I know every single expression that cross your face, just like you know the ones that cross mine.

I miss feeling your skin against mine. I miss the taste of your lips and the cool metal of your tags. After all this time, I’ve realized I can’t live without you in my life. You’re the only one I can see a future with. You’re the only man I see as the father of my future kids, the one I see myself walking down the aisle to.

Don’t you get it?

I love you. With all of my heart, my soul, my being. I love you.Image

Dear James,

I know we’ve just started talking properly again last night but, it’s given me hope- realistic hope – that somehow you’ll be a part of my life. Whether it be in a romantic sense or not. Though, i hope it is. I want you. In every sense. 

Since I left, I have regretted it. Since I left, I have loved you, even though it’s killed me. Neither of us are perfect and, I hope you realize now that I regret every mistake i’ve made with you. Just give me a chance and I promise to never leave you again. i don’t want to lose you again. The first time was hard enough.

I know you said you won’t jump into a relationship with me until you see me in person again. I hope that day is soon. I hope when it comes, the memories and emotions of what we had will come flooding back and you’ll see what I’ve been holding on to so tightly.

” I was born to tell you I love you.” I think the reason I can’t let go of you and just move on … is  because despite everything, you actually might be The One for me. It’s what I feel. It really is. I’ve had dreams about you, about us being together… Please just give me a chance. I promise I won’t leave again. 

Valentine’s Day

It’s in 11 days. And though, it’ll be the first time in two years when I’ve been officially single during one, I still won’t have a Valentine. It’s hard. Two of my dearest friends always talk about the person they’re in love with and I have no one.

I could’ve had someone.

But they decided to leave out of nowhere. It hurts. It really does. It makes me wonder if I’m good enough for anyone.

I’ve expressed lately on Facebook that I don’t like being single. Sometimes, a friend will comment, “why do you always need a relationship?” The irony of this friend asking is that she’s been in a relationship for a few years now. While I’ve been through several failed ones.

I miss Robert dearly and I know I would’ve been happy with him had he given me a proper chance. I miss James a lot but, he’s been too much of a jackass lately to realistically consider him an option anymore.

So where does that leave me?

Alone.

Sick.

Heartbroken.

I’m not looking for just any guy to fix my heart and show me really how it is be loved unconditionally. But, all of this searching is getting really tiring. I just get played or asked for sexual things.

I need something more than that.

I need someone who will come cuddle with me while I’m sick.

This whole being sick thing has really pushed the fact that I’m single into my face. Late at night, when I’m retching or my head hurts, I have no one. Then, with my friends near constant talk of “L” this or “H” that…? I love them, I do but, I really don’t want to hear about how it makes you sad that “L’s” doing laundry. As for “H”? She’s not good for you. She doesn’t deserve you.

But at the end of the day, what am I? Just a friend. A friend you can cuddle with, even though my heart pounds and my cheeks flush when you do but, not call your girlfriend.

I’m tired of being just the friend. I want to be the -girlfriend-. But, like Lantz, Josh, and James have  clearly shown: I’m not worth it apparently.

Bridge of Light – P!NK, Happy Feet 2

Never really been a fan of P!nk but, I love this song. And, it really resonates with me right now: trying to figure out whether to give someone one last chance or to wait and see what happens or, to move on. Though, either way, it’s hard to keep fighting for the dreams long kept dormant in your heart when they keep being destroyed by the people you learn to trust, let into your heart and show your love to.

I mean, how many times can you keep getting up to try again? It’s gotten to a point where I realize that I’m still very much in love with James. Otherwise, I would have deleted him from everything a long time ago. But, I can’t. It’s too painful to even think about. Though people wonder how I could have loved someone who can be a complete ass… They never see the side I do: a person who can be sweet and kind and silly. I’m not saying that’s all I see. But he never lets them see it.

I’m at a point where I don’t know if I should try once more to win him back or if I should just move on completely. Both options are really painful and include more battling on for what I want and need and dream of. I don’t know how much longer I can fight for it. I wish someone would fight for me for once.

There are so many things I want: a college degree, a marriage, a family, a career… Two of those things I get on my own. But, a marriage? I need someone for that. And same to create my own family. I want to have kids so badly. I want that one relationship that turns into a marriage.

My lovely friend Bethanny made a point the other day. I had told her about my five engaged friends to which she responded: the ones who really want it and deserve it, are the ones who don’t get it. And she’s right. Every girl has the dream of getting married. I did too. But the want for it became very strong when I was 16. Over four years ago. But instead of having a few healthy relationships that just didn’t work out because of personal differences, I’ve had several unhealthy relationships in which the guy just disappeared for no reason.

Ironically, the healthiest relationship I had was with James. He treated me really well until the breakup. And now, 9-10 months later, he still has his moments of decency. When things aren’t rocky between us, we get on really well. I believe we compliment each other. But…. what does it matter? It doesn’t until he decides he wants me. :/

Until then, what do I do? Just keep being single? Try to find someone else? I’ve been doing both and they suck. They hurt. I feel like I go to bed crying every night because I’m lonely and feel very unloved.

I feel like I’m never enough for anyone…